“Be humble, be gracious, and make peace with inner fears before stepping out into the limelight and allowing yourself to be subjected to all of humanity”. ~ Maximillian Degenerez
Funny how things work out. I never thought I’d see this day, and I never thought I’d let a guest write a blog post. Here’s a very much shortened backstory as to why.
I get trolled by losers. A lot. One of the worst persistent offenders over the years has been Branndon Pike AKA @ShadowDXS on Twitter, here’s an example of his ‘work’. Recently though, I’d noticed a huge change in him. I asked around, and some good people, @NetSecrex (Dan Ford) and @Sehnaoui (Khalil ‘Pilgrim’) informed me that Branndon was trying to get his shit together and had finally got a pretty decent job. I was skeptical. A short time later Branndon followed me on Twitter, so I followed him back. I told him I’d heard the good news, and offered some advice and support. Turns out old Branndon isn’t the dumb shit he pretends to be. This was a few weeks back now, last night we had a chat and I asked him if he wanted to share his story of turning from troll to human via my blog. So here we are. I’m happy to say I *think* I can call Branndon a friend, and I have a new found respect for him, you should too. I often say to trolls ‘I’ll make you famous’, I once said it to Branndon too, so I guess I’m keeping that promise right now, only under the right circumstances. Anyhoo, without further fanfare, I’ll hand you over to a NEW IMPROVED Branndon Pike in his own (PGP signed) words:
For five long years I have gone out of my way to show my ass to anyone willing to look at it. I never gave a damn about how it effected others. It was always about pissing off anyone and everyone that wanted to flex. I remember how my history with th3j35t3r started. It was October of 2010, I was reading up on WikiLeaks and how they had to branch out to massive amount of mirrored sites due to a massive DDoS attack, for what seemed like a lifetime. After some quick google searching, I found a few links to twitter. Then I found the person claiming responsibility for said attacks. The first tweet I read from him was an open Q&A on #Jester in 2600.net <http://2600.net/>’s IRC. Mind you, this was around the same time that Anonymous was in full on asshat mode.
After joining the channel, I was connected for 7 minutes before J kicked me out the room. My response: This dick! So I logged back in playing nice-nice to try and have a conversation with him as well as all the operators in the channel. I knew I didn’t belong from the start. Every day I was in that channel it was 20 questions with anyone that had +v or higher. No one trusted me, I could see why. Every day was a new Anon-a-tard popping up and making bold statements on the channel, or via twitter. Not a day went by that drama filled the lives of everyone there. This was fun for an outsider. Jester had talked to his operators and asked enough questions about me to the point where he was ready to PM me. First major question he asked: Whats your agenda here, Branndon?
Now, I have a small problem when it comes to ‘authoritative figures’ in my life. Be it someone demanding I do this or that, or anyone questioning my motives. When Jester asked me that question, I didn’t even hesitate to respond with a ‘fuck off’. But I still stuck around. Making friends and enemies every day. Teaming up with some of the worst people on the internet that you could imagine. If someone had a fight for good cause, I was there to ruin it. If someone had something nice to say, I would promote hate toward the subject. I got giddy over it. I absolutely had jack-shit better to do. My reason for breathing was just to make peoples lives hell on earth. Turns out, I wasn’t too bad at it. When it came to th3j35t3r, at times fucking with him was something to do when I was bored. Or when he drew attention to something and I felt he was ‘famewhoring’ it up. Me and countless others would dog the shit out of him over the smallest things. WikiLeaks, Tango-Downs, the QR Stunt he pulled that one time, you name it. If some media head picked it up and ran with it, I would use as ammo just to shit on his parade. Why, you may ask? Because I could. Truth is, I never really cared about WHO th3j35t3r was. Sure I have been apart of doxing ops, sure I have made wild bullshit accusations and fed into the drama of he-said she-said as to who/what/why the jester was. But a part of me always wanted to keep it a guessing game. That was my chew toy… you can’t have it.
Turns out, ‘just for the lulz’ doesn’t pay bills. It doesn’t keep you in smokes or clean cloths. Turns out there is more to life than just the internet. More than J, and more then most of you drama filled skid’s that love do the same thing I did. After a while the drama is not fun. It’s like a stale fart that was launched out of @AsheraResearch‘s ass. Sure you can sit there and crack a joke about it, but after the laughter is gone, you still have to smell it. Well for me, I didn’t bother opening a window, I kicked down the door and walked the fuck right out. I love trolling people. The reason why is, I love to see people laugh. But I found a more effective way getting a chuckle out of people, real people. And 90% of them are not people like you. I now keep a very small social footprint that a large number of people have bitched about for the past two years. I follow around 20 or less people on the only social network that I’m addicted to by choice. It’s not because I’m trying to cool or some bullshit like that. Truth is, I hate what most of you people have to say. Most of the people I used to talk to, are nothing but cancer. I chose to cut the cancer out and move on. You’d be shocked to learn that once all the voices of petty drama are gone, the world gets less noisy and more interesting. I’ve had time to focus my life on things that benefit me. Time to asses who my real, no-shit friends are. Time to work towards a carer that I enjoy.
I’m not gonna tell you something lame like ‘give up on trolling and get a real job’. Because lets face it, if you want to change something in your life, you have to be the asshole to want it. My point of all of this, if there is one, is that life to short to be stuck behind a keyboard talking shit to people you disagree with. Go out and get laid. Have some fun, do whatever makes you happy. Hell, if me and Jester can get over our bullshit, and move on with life, i’m sure you can as well.
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